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| FUCKING RORY FUCKING DIED AGAIN |
Depending on which news article you read, these are all things that have been attributed to the London riots. The only thing that anyone can really agree on is that it's incredibly difficult to tell what exactly the main factor was. I think I've figured it out though. It was my fault. Looking back, I should have seen this coming. There were numerous hints I should have picked up on but didn't. For this, I apologize.
But you weren't in Britain during the riots.
I know. Let me explain myself.
On May 18th, 2010 a Royal Bank of Canada branch was firebombed in Ottawa. At this point I had been out of Canada for eight months. This was the precursor to the the G20 protests that started on June 17th, 2010, culminating in riots in Toronto on June 26th and 27th. Notably, when I flew back to Canada on June 2nd, my flight did not have a layover in Toronto. Torontonians, I'm sorry. The direct flight was cheaper. Next time, I'll take your feelings into account.
While I was living in Glasgow (a violent city that is no stranger to riots) there was nary a protest. Then in November 2010, along with protests at universities across Britain, students marched on Glasgow University. Coincidence? Perhaps. But lets go on.
In February 2011, students illegally occupied the Hetherington Research Club until their forceful eviction in March. The stated reasons for occupying the building were "to protest the university's closure of the club". However, I'd like to think that they simply missed watching me walk to class everyday (the math building is next door) and were driven to this level of insanity.
In May 2011, riots broke out in Barcelona after they won the Champions cup. Five months prior, I was wandering their streets.
As well in May 2011, minor riots broke out during the Queen's visit to Dublin.
That's six incidents in five different cities in four different countries. Take note, that these are all stable 1st world countries, places where riots are a rare occurrence. The trail of destruction left in my wake doesn't end there though.
I'm sure most of you still remember the Vancouver riots at the beginning of this summer. I very much wanted to be in Vancouver that day. Unfortunately, work and lectures made that impossible. My absence clearly frustrated Vancouverites so much that they felt the need to destroy their own city. Two days after the riots, I went to Vancouver and people were giving out free hugs in the street. See the power of my presence?
So finally, we find ourselves at the most current and most violent of the disturbances thus far. The London riots. It's been just over a year since I've been in the UK, just over a year for pent up rage to build up the breaking point. Had I realized my power sooner, I would have tried to stop it. But even then, I may have failed. You see, visa requirements in the UK are quite strict and they are only getting stricter.
Drawing from this evidence it seems like the easiest way to solve this problem is to give me a UK passport.
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| If you want, you can have this kitten. |
But you weren't in Britain during the riots.
I know. Let me explain myself.
On May 18th, 2010 a Royal Bank of Canada branch was firebombed in Ottawa. At this point I had been out of Canada for eight months. This was the precursor to the the G20 protests that started on June 17th, 2010, culminating in riots in Toronto on June 26th and 27th. Notably, when I flew back to Canada on June 2nd, my flight did not have a layover in Toronto. Torontonians, I'm sorry. The direct flight was cheaper. Next time, I'll take your feelings into account.
While I was living in Glasgow (a violent city that is no stranger to riots) there was nary a protest. Then in November 2010, along with protests at universities across Britain, students marched on Glasgow University. Coincidence? Perhaps. But lets go on.
In February 2011, students illegally occupied the Hetherington Research Club until their forceful eviction in March. The stated reasons for occupying the building were "to protest the university's closure of the club". However, I'd like to think that they simply missed watching me walk to class everyday (the math building is next door) and were driven to this level of insanity.
In May 2011, riots broke out in Barcelona after they won the Champions cup. Five months prior, I was wandering their streets.
As well in May 2011, minor riots broke out during the Queen's visit to Dublin.
That's six incidents in five different cities in four different countries. Take note, that these are all stable 1st world countries, places where riots are a rare occurrence. The trail of destruction left in my wake doesn't end there though.
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| I leave for a week and look what happens |
I'm sure most of you still remember the Vancouver riots at the beginning of this summer. I very much wanted to be in Vancouver that day. Unfortunately, work and lectures made that impossible. My absence clearly frustrated Vancouverites so much that they felt the need to destroy their own city. Two days after the riots, I went to Vancouver and people were giving out free hugs in the street. See the power of my presence?
So finally, we find ourselves at the most current and most violent of the disturbances thus far. The London riots. It's been just over a year since I've been in the UK, just over a year for pent up rage to build up the breaking point. Had I realized my power sooner, I would have tried to stop it. But even then, I may have failed. You see, visa requirements in the UK are quite strict and they are only getting stricter.
Drawing from this evidence it seems like the easiest way to solve this problem is to give me a UK passport.
