1. Fire.fm <--- Best thing the internet ever did. Here are some steps to make your life better.
Step 1: If you don't have Firefox, get it. If you already have it then skip this step and go to number 2
Step 2: Go to the add-ons section of the Firefox website and download Fire.fm
Step 3: Type in a musical act that you feel like listening too and click okay. It will start playing that artist and artists similiar to them.
Now, I knew about Last.fm and how you could listen to similar artists to ones that you liked but I didn't like the websites layout and it seemed like a hassle and you had to leave the browser open to their "play music" page else it'd stop. Fire.fm is an add-on that uses the power of Last.fm and puts a little mini-music-player right at the top of your internet and you can still go to different pages and stuff and THE MUSIC KEEPS GOING. Seriously, best invention ever. Here's a list of artists (off the top of my head) I have started listning to since getting this handy little bugger a month ago:
John Lee Hooker, Bukka White, Blind Willie Mctell, Fresh Maggots, The Incredible String Band, Something Happens, Fairport Convention, Dr. Strangely Strange, Soledad Brothers, Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson, Cotten Mather, Comus, Velvet Crush, Amy Cook, The Small Faces, Humble Pie, The Pretty Things.
2. Trees! Tree's are super funtimes. If you're ever feeling down just go and climb a tree and then you'll be up. HA! Up. Get it? Yeah, I know it's lame but it leads me to my next happy thing. Puns!
3. Los puns son muy graciosos. Me encantalos! Wordplay is beautiful and intelligent and hilarious. This right here is my favoritest joke in the whole wide world. Best of all, it isn't even Math related (even though math puns are the best). It's a little long but the joke is well worth the reading. As well as puns I also enjoy spoonerisms, mondegreens, malapropisms, anagrams, and portmanteaus. People who are good at that stuff are basically automatically geniuses in my mind because I am not very good at wordplay things even though they make me smiley inside. Unrelated also: espirit d'escalier is a French phrase for thinking up something witty to say long after the conversation ended. This happens to me ALL THE TIME. I'm super witty inside my own head, you should check it out one day.
4. Live Music - No explanation necessary. There is nothing more happy than going to see a show, even if it's just some local band that no one's ever heard of before. Cause usually they wind up being crazy awesome. SUPPORT MUSIC! BURN THE RECORD COMPANYS! MUSICAL ANARCHY AAGH! Seriously though - go buy an album right now but make sure that it's by some band that you've never listened to and maybe have never even heard of before. Just get something with really cool looking cover art. It'll be great. I promise.
5. Ugly things - Man, ugly things are the coolest ever. I have this book and one of the characters is talking about this painting he has and he says "Of course it's ugly. Why else would I have it. I like it cause it's ugly" and I think that's the prettiest thing anybody has ever said. I have a very different perception of what sorts of things are pretty or nice looking and as a result I like alot of 'ugly' stuff.
6. Hugs and cuddling - People really ought to cuddle more often, it'd make them happier. When I rule the world I'm gonna make an international holiday where people have to make a fort out of beds and cushions and couches and everybody just sits under there and cuddles and watches movies and talks for the whole day. This holiday would be even better than Christmastime.
7. How most of my 'Angry' things are number related - Man, I am such a nerd. This is why people don't want to go out in public with me but that's okay cause I'd rather just stay home and hang out anyways. Finding stuff to do wastes precious time so let's just sit and talk okay?
8. Ou'rwageous Caw'kney Ak-cents. Vair aww so bloomin' wonderfu' arn'vey? Specially, when vey talk 'unred miles an 'our an' everyfing's so colourfu' an' vey use words that sound made up an' vair's a goo'chance tha' they don' even know wha' vair talkin' abou' bu' you buy i' anyway cause jus' listning to vem talk is plain bloody delightfu'.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Things that make me irrationally angry.
1. The Gregorian Calender. Could we maybe please invent a way of keeping track of things so that our year doesn't have 365.2425 days please? The number of days in a year should be a whole number, as should the number of hours in the day. You can't just slap an extra day on every four years and claim that everything is cool just because you devised a solar calender accurate to 0.8 days in 4000 years. Who cares about accuracy with that amount of duration. I'm all for tweaking our calender so that we can express the number of days in a year as a whole number.
Some more things. The number of weeks in a year is 52. Seven days in a week makes 52 x 7 = 364 days. That's even less accurate. And how about months? There's what, fourish weeks in a month? Fourish, no. Whole numbers here people. All the months should have 28 days, not just February. Frickin' useless piece of crap Gregorian Calender.
2. When certain things aren't symmetrical. Example: The new Student Center being built that I pass every day multiple times. They started putting a whole pile of glass windows (skyscraper style) on but for some reason there were two windows just off center that they decided to not put in. So for about a week every time I walked past there was this nice pretty wall of windows with TWO GAPING HOLES JUST RANDOMLY SITTING THERE. FUCK. It drove me crazy.
3. The imperial system. Fuck you Burma, Liberia and America. You know what's really easy. WORKING IN BASE TEN. There's a reason why everything in metric changes by tens and that reason is because that's how our numerical system works. Here's a quick example on why metric is way the fuck easier than imperial.
How many millimeters are there in a centimeter? 10. How many centimeters are in a meter? 100. How many meters are in a kilometer? 1000. How many centimeters are in a kilometer? (100 x 1000) = 100,000. How many millimeters are there in a kilometer? (10 x 100 x 1000) = 1,000,000. How many kilometers are in a millimeter? (1/1,000,000) = .000001
Now, the same exercise in imperial
How many quarter inches are in an inch? 4. How many inches are in a foot? 12. How many feet are in a yard? 3. How many yards are in a mile? 1760. How many feet are in a mile? (3 x 1760) = 5280. How many inches are in a mile? (12 x 5280) = 63360. How many quarter inches are in a mile? (4 x 63360) = 253440. How many miles are in a quarter inch? (1/253440) = .0000039457.
Now, which one was easier? Also... inches. I am so not onboard into splitting them up into indefinitely smaller fractions as required. What if you need to measure something really really really accurately and wind up with something like 41/512 ths of an inch. The fuck does that even mean. Well, it means that it's 1/512ths more than 5/64 ths of an inch. And 5/64ths of an inch is just 1/64 th of an inch more than 1/16th of an inch and 1/16th of an inch is somewhere right before 1/8 th and right after 1/32 nd. If anyone can follow the simplification of fractions there without using a calculator or a piece of paper you win a free hug. FROM ME. Also: FUCK IMPERIAL.
4. The guitars that the Jonas Brothers play. Yes. Of all the things that could piss me off about them it's their guitars. Seriously. The one guy gets to play a frickin' Les Paul. FUCK HIM. If you're gonna touch such a goddamned beautiful instrument could you please maybe try to do it some justice? I could screw that guitar it's so frickin' sexy, literally. And I mean literally. But I'd take it out to dinner first cause a classy lady like that deserves some fine dining before the show.
The other guy isn't much better. He's got a Gibson SG which is basically like Les Paul's slightly-less-attractive-but-also-a-wee-bit-sluttier-and-more-open-to-new-things-sister. Sorry SG, no dinner for you. HA! more open... sorry. Also: I'm a bit pissed that how they got to play with Stevie Wonder and then the guitarist in Stevie's backing band did all the frickin' work while the Jonases flailed on their guitars like a kid with Parkinsons trying to masturbate for the first time.
EWWW. Fuck you Jonas. PS - I think you guys should mail me your guitars cause they would be much happier with me
Some more things. The number of weeks in a year is 52. Seven days in a week makes 52 x 7 = 364 days. That's even less accurate. And how about months? There's what, fourish weeks in a month? Fourish, no. Whole numbers here people. All the months should have 28 days, not just February. Frickin' useless piece of crap Gregorian Calender.
2. When certain things aren't symmetrical. Example: The new Student Center being built that I pass every day multiple times. They started putting a whole pile of glass windows (skyscraper style) on but for some reason there were two windows just off center that they decided to not put in. So for about a week every time I walked past there was this nice pretty wall of windows with TWO GAPING HOLES JUST RANDOMLY SITTING THERE. FUCK. It drove me crazy.
3. The imperial system. Fuck you Burma, Liberia and America. You know what's really easy. WORKING IN BASE TEN. There's a reason why everything in metric changes by tens and that reason is because that's how our numerical system works. Here's a quick example on why metric is way the fuck easier than imperial.
How many millimeters are there in a centimeter? 10. How many centimeters are in a meter? 100. How many meters are in a kilometer? 1000. How many centimeters are in a kilometer? (100 x 1000) = 100,000. How many millimeters are there in a kilometer? (10 x 100 x 1000) = 1,000,000. How many kilometers are in a millimeter? (1/1,000,000) = .000001
Now, the same exercise in imperial
How many quarter inches are in an inch? 4. How many inches are in a foot? 12. How many feet are in a yard? 3. How many yards are in a mile? 1760. How many feet are in a mile? (3 x 1760) = 5280. How many inches are in a mile? (12 x 5280) = 63360. How many quarter inches are in a mile? (4 x 63360) = 253440. How many miles are in a quarter inch? (1/253440) = .0000039457.
Now, which one was easier? Also... inches. I am so not onboard into splitting them up into indefinitely smaller fractions as required. What if you need to measure something really really really accurately and wind up with something like 41/512 ths of an inch. The fuck does that even mean. Well, it means that it's 1/512ths more than 5/64 ths of an inch. And 5/64ths of an inch is just 1/64 th of an inch more than 1/16th of an inch and 1/16th of an inch is somewhere right before 1/8 th and right after 1/32 nd. If anyone can follow the simplification of fractions there without using a calculator or a piece of paper you win a free hug. FROM ME. Also: FUCK IMPERIAL.
4. The guitars that the Jonas Brothers play. Yes. Of all the things that could piss me off about them it's their guitars. Seriously. The one guy gets to play a frickin' Les Paul. FUCK HIM. If you're gonna touch such a goddamned beautiful instrument could you please maybe try to do it some justice? I could screw that guitar it's so frickin' sexy, literally. And I mean literally. But I'd take it out to dinner first cause a classy lady like that deserves some fine dining before the show.
The other guy isn't much better. He's got a Gibson SG which is basically like Les Paul's slightly-less-attractive-but-also-a-wee-bit-sluttier-and-more-open-to-new-things-sister. Sorry SG, no dinner for you. HA! more open... sorry. Also: I'm a bit pissed that how they got to play with Stevie Wonder and then the guitarist in Stevie's backing band did all the frickin' work while the Jonases flailed on their guitars like a kid with Parkinsons trying to masturbate for the first time.
EWWW. Fuck you Jonas. PS - I think you guys should mail me your guitars cause they would be much happier with me
Monday, March 23, 2009
Born to do physics
Is anybody else as fascinated as me at how frickin' good human beings are at physics. Not pencil and paper (and calculator) physics. Most people suck hard at that. No, I mean, instinctively, we are unbelievably good at physics. Take swinging on a swing for example. How a swing works is that a force is applied to the oscillating motion of the swing. If the frequency of the applied force is proportional to the frequency of the motion of the swing, the amplitude of the swing increases. In laymen's terms this means that, force is applied at the two highest points of the swing (the peak and saddle point of one cycle). The force applied adds to the height of the swing but since you are applying it to the current maximum height, the swing goes higher. This is a phenomena known as resonance frequency and I can tell you all faithfully that it is a son of a bitch to calculate. We're talking multiple pages of math here and yet young children are capable of doing it.
Swinging isn't something that you can be taught either. Sure adults and kids who have figured it out already will tell you to pump your legs but that doesn't really mean anything. I know, I watched/tried to teach someone roughly my age how to swing just this past summer. It's not possible, you have to feel how to swing. You have to figure out, in your head, without any solid calculations, the exact points where to apply force to maximize amplitude. All of it is completely instinctual and I think that that's frickin' amazing.
Another example: Driving -> espcially in the snow. The force of the car is equal to mass times acceleration. The force of friction is equal to the normal force of the car (mass times gravity) times the coefficient of friction between the tires and the road (clear road will have larger coefficient than icy road). If a car accelerates too quickly, the force of the car will be greater than the force of friction and the tires will spin out (or if you're slowing down too fast, skid). Somehow, instinctively, people can just feel these calculations. I know how fast I can accelerate on an icy road before the tires start spinning... I didn't do the math, I just feel it. So does everyone else. How? How can we instinctively be so good at physics? Is it just simple practice of constantly having to move around in our surroundings every day? Probably.
It gets even more complicated when a car goes around a corner. The force exerted by the car going around a corner is equal to the mass of the car times the velocity squared all divided by the radius of the curve. This is why sharper corners need to be taken slower. The radius is smaller and now the force is dependent on velocity, which moves in a direction tangent to the curve (this is why you move around inside the car while taking the corner. It's cause the car wants to keep going straight) . But somehow, people can calculate this all in their head, they realize without mathematically realizing it that the magnitude of velocity will screw with their ability to not go sliding off the road.
They also somehow realize somehow that acceleration while in a curve is directed towards the center of the circle (if the curve kept going and made a circle). This means that, if you accelerate while in a corner, your ability to stay on the road increases because the force of the car is directed towardsthe center. (don't overdo it though, tangental acceleration factors in here too and, with enough acceleration or low enough friction [ie. snow], you'll get fucked). So, somehow, without actually knowing any of the theoretical pencil and paper physics behind it all, most people still realize that it's best to go into a corner slowly and then accelerate out of it. How amazing is that. Everybody has a fairly frickin' amazing understanding of physics, even if they don't have any idea what a vector is.
Almost everything we do is an example of us doing physics in our head and we're so frickin' good at it. I think that this is pretty damned cool so I thought I would share it.
Swinging isn't something that you can be taught either. Sure adults and kids who have figured it out already will tell you to pump your legs but that doesn't really mean anything. I know, I watched/tried to teach someone roughly my age how to swing just this past summer. It's not possible, you have to feel how to swing. You have to figure out, in your head, without any solid calculations, the exact points where to apply force to maximize amplitude. All of it is completely instinctual and I think that that's frickin' amazing.
Another example: Driving -> espcially in the snow. The force of the car is equal to mass times acceleration. The force of friction is equal to the normal force of the car (mass times gravity) times the coefficient of friction between the tires and the road (clear road will have larger coefficient than icy road). If a car accelerates too quickly, the force of the car will be greater than the force of friction and the tires will spin out (or if you're slowing down too fast, skid). Somehow, instinctively, people can just feel these calculations. I know how fast I can accelerate on an icy road before the tires start spinning... I didn't do the math, I just feel it. So does everyone else. How? How can we instinctively be so good at physics? Is it just simple practice of constantly having to move around in our surroundings every day? Probably.
It gets even more complicated when a car goes around a corner. The force exerted by the car going around a corner is equal to the mass of the car times the velocity squared all divided by the radius of the curve. This is why sharper corners need to be taken slower. The radius is smaller and now the force is dependent on velocity, which moves in a direction tangent to the curve (this is why you move around inside the car while taking the corner. It's cause the car wants to keep going straight) . But somehow, people can calculate this all in their head, they realize without mathematically realizing it that the magnitude of velocity will screw with their ability to not go sliding off the road.
They also somehow realize somehow that acceleration while in a curve is directed towards the center of the circle (if the curve kept going and made a circle). This means that, if you accelerate while in a corner, your ability to stay on the road increases because the force of the car is directed towardsthe center. (don't overdo it though, tangental acceleration factors in here too and, with enough acceleration or low enough friction [ie. snow], you'll get fucked). So, somehow, without actually knowing any of the theoretical pencil and paper physics behind it all, most people still realize that it's best to go into a corner slowly and then accelerate out of it. How amazing is that. Everybody has a fairly frickin' amazing understanding of physics, even if they don't have any idea what a vector is.
Almost everything we do is an example of us doing physics in our head and we're so frickin' good at it. I think that this is pretty damned cool so I thought I would share it.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Life is good
My last few posts have been kindave downers which is a bit odd because right now life is goodtimes. Not specifically right this instant - I have stuff I should be doing and things I should be learning but in the nearish future things are gonna be fricking sweet. I've got a sweet-ass job doing math for the university over summer which most importantly means I won't have to spend my summer at my hometown. It's not that I don't like home, it's just that last summer I very nearly went batshit crazy and ran away forever. Even though that was the mixed result of a few different things that were going on making me hate the world, being home had alot to do with it. Home is nice, for a week or two, any longer than that and... well, it's time to leave.
Almost as importantly, I'm actually excited for this job. The math I'm doing isn't boring - well... the math is boring but the stuff it's being used for isn't. In a nutshell, I'm gonna be modelling population cycles of the snowshoe hare and finding out the effects of general predation. Which is actually really interesting, mostly because I really dig geography and ecology and environmental studies. How hard the actual work will be I don't know... I actually have no real idea yet how I'm even going to do any of this but that's all good.
Also: When I finish my job I'm going to Scotland for school which... I dunno... I'll wait until I'm in Scotland before I say anything. I mean, it'll be awesome but how awesome stands to reason. I think I'm only going there to get as far away as possible from everyone. I've been wanting to get away since grade 9. I thought University would be far enough and it was for a while but now... I just need/want to get away from everyone. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and family but I think it'll do alot of good not seeing any of them for 8 months. That's one of the main things I have against the internet. I love not knowing what's going on in people's lives. I love finally seeing them after way-too-long-a-period-of-time and listening to them spurt off everything I've missed at a hundred miles a minute. Above all, I frickin' love letters. <----- Best invention ever. I really wish more people would send them, even if they aren't adressed to me. The people who really matter, they'll keep in touch even if it's a giant hassle. Internet makes it too easy, too many people who should drift away don't. Also Also: I got a poem published, go me I guess? I still find the fact that I, of all people, enjoy poems to be a screwed up beyond all belief but hey, I got one published -> suck on that angsty myspace teens. Though I guess facebook is all the rage now...
Side note: Hooray for proof reading. Originally that last bit read as "suck on the angsty myspace teens". Fruedian slip much? I hope not.
Also Also Also: (I really need a better way to start a new idea). Some writer guy told me I was very good at words and that he liked my story. Go me again I guess? Of course I'm good at words - I practice them every day.
Oh! And I've saved the best part (well best to me part) for last. Are you ready? Cause this is gonna blow your frickin' mind. It's only about the awesomest thing since the 1950's. I have a month off between finishing my job and starting school in Scotland, so I've decided that I'm gonna hitchhike out to Ontario and visit with family before leaving. How cool is that. "Alot cool" is what you should be saying but I will also accept "I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU FOR BEING SO AWESOME!!1!" as an anwer.
Okay I lied, I didn't save the best part for last. The best part is that I'm finished with this post and gonna go have a bowl of ice cream. Ice cream is Yummytimes in my mouth, guys! You should really check it out one day if you already haven't.
PS - I think you should all go check out a band called "Fairport Convention" cause they are wow. However, I don't like how wikipedia claims that they invented "Electric Folk" in 1969 when clearly Bob Dylan invented it in 1965 with his bone shatteringly blood boilingly orgasmic album "Bringing It All Back Home". This is actually the first time I've ever seen Wiki be blatently wrong, now I can finally believe my profs. Anyways - Fairport Convention = Good stuff. Alot of this has to do with how Sandy Denny has the voice of an angel, like seriously. She snuck up behind an angel at a "singing voice" bank and robbed that angel clean out just as soon as the ATM spat out a whole bunch of singing cred. True story, I saw the security vid - they couldn't arrest Sandy though cause she had the voice of an angel and it's illegal to arrest angels so then Robert Plant asked her to sing on Battle of Evermore and she was all like "HOLY SHIT I GET TO KINDAVE BE IN LED ZEPPELIN FOR LIKE 3 AND A HALF MINUTES". Moral of the story is that if steal shit from angels Robert Plant will ask you to sortof be in Zeppelin.
Also: If you dig Fairport/Sandy Denny, you should also check out Trees, The Incredible String Band and Pentangle. Interesting point: Pentangle released 12 studio albums, 1 live album and 14 compilations.
As a final note, I'd like to add that I'd probably marry Sandy Denny if she didn't die in 1978.
Almost as importantly, I'm actually excited for this job. The math I'm doing isn't boring - well... the math is boring but the stuff it's being used for isn't. In a nutshell, I'm gonna be modelling population cycles of the snowshoe hare and finding out the effects of general predation. Which is actually really interesting, mostly because I really dig geography and ecology and environmental studies. How hard the actual work will be I don't know... I actually have no real idea yet how I'm even going to do any of this but that's all good.
Also: When I finish my job I'm going to Scotland for school which... I dunno... I'll wait until I'm in Scotland before I say anything. I mean, it'll be awesome but how awesome stands to reason. I think I'm only going there to get as far away as possible from everyone. I've been wanting to get away since grade 9. I thought University would be far enough and it was for a while but now... I just need/want to get away from everyone. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and family but I think it'll do alot of good not seeing any of them for 8 months. That's one of the main things I have against the internet. I love not knowing what's going on in people's lives. I love finally seeing them after way-too-long-a-period-of-time and listening to them spurt off everything I've missed at a hundred miles a minute. Above all, I frickin' love letters. <----- Best invention ever. I really wish more people would send them, even if they aren't adressed to me. The people who really matter, they'll keep in touch even if it's a giant hassle. Internet makes it too easy, too many people who should drift away don't. Also Also: I got a poem published, go me I guess? I still find the fact that I, of all people, enjoy poems to be a screwed up beyond all belief but hey, I got one published -> suck on that angsty myspace teens. Though I guess facebook is all the rage now...
Side note: Hooray for proof reading. Originally that last bit read as "suck on the angsty myspace teens". Fruedian slip much? I hope not.
Also Also Also: (I really need a better way to start a new idea). Some writer guy told me I was very good at words and that he liked my story. Go me again I guess? Of course I'm good at words - I practice them every day.
Oh! And I've saved the best part (well best to me part) for last. Are you ready? Cause this is gonna blow your frickin' mind. It's only about the awesomest thing since the 1950's. I have a month off between finishing my job and starting school in Scotland, so I've decided that I'm gonna hitchhike out to Ontario and visit with family before leaving. How cool is that. "Alot cool" is what you should be saying but I will also accept "I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU FOR BEING SO AWESOME!!1!" as an anwer.
Okay I lied, I didn't save the best part for last. The best part is that I'm finished with this post and gonna go have a bowl of ice cream. Ice cream is Yummytimes in my mouth, guys! You should really check it out one day if you already haven't.
PS - I think you should all go check out a band called "Fairport Convention" cause they are wow. However, I don't like how wikipedia claims that they invented "Electric Folk" in 1969 when clearly Bob Dylan invented it in 1965 with his bone shatteringly blood boilingly orgasmic album "Bringing It All Back Home". This is actually the first time I've ever seen Wiki be blatently wrong, now I can finally believe my profs. Anyways - Fairport Convention = Good stuff. Alot of this has to do with how Sandy Denny has the voice of an angel, like seriously. She snuck up behind an angel at a "singing voice" bank and robbed that angel clean out just as soon as the ATM spat out a whole bunch of singing cred. True story, I saw the security vid - they couldn't arrest Sandy though cause she had the voice of an angel and it's illegal to arrest angels so then Robert Plant asked her to sing on Battle of Evermore and she was all like "HOLY SHIT I GET TO KINDAVE BE IN LED ZEPPELIN FOR LIKE 3 AND A HALF MINUTES". Moral of the story is that if steal shit from angels Robert Plant will ask you to sortof be in Zeppelin.
Also: If you dig Fairport/Sandy Denny, you should also check out Trees, The Incredible String Band and Pentangle. Interesting point: Pentangle released 12 studio albums, 1 live album and 14 compilations.
As a final note, I'd like to add that I'd probably marry Sandy Denny if she didn't die in 1978.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Dear Physics Prof
Go die in a hole you lazy overpaid diminutive smug twat. You are, without any competition, the worst excuse for a teacher I've ever had (high school included). Here are some constructive criticisms so that maybe next year you won't have a room full of 200 people who all want to leap out of their chairs and jam a calculator down your throat
1. Office Hours: Get some. Just don't tell people that they can come by whenever and if you're there you're there and if you're not you're not. Fuck you. Do you have any idea how inconvenient that is? What makes you so goddamned special that you can be the only Prof on campus that doesn't have any office hours? Not to mention the fact that you never are there anyways. I've gone down about ten times and you've been there twice.
2. Lectures: Try talking about the subject that you're teaching. I understand that it's important to know how equations are derived but that's what math classes are for. This is a first year physics class. Me and maybe three other people are the only ones who know enough math to actually understand what the fuck you're doing when you derive formulas and that doesn't help us at all because HOLY SHIT, none of the questions we have to do deal with deriving formulas because this is PHYSICS not MATH. Maybe you should try doing more example problems with those formulas rather than deriving them for us and then looking smug when we have no fucking idea what to do with them.
3. Don't put a linear first order ODE on your midterm. Differential equations is a second year math course. Physics 102 is a first year course. Ergo: NO ONE KNOWS OR SHOULD KNOW HOW TO SOLVE A LINEAR ODE I don't care that you need to solve one to find the formula for the rate of discharge of a capacitor. Just give us the formula and we'll take your word for it that it works. Solving ODE's is once again math, not physics. If I wanted to solve ODE's I'd be taking a differential equations class. Oh wait, I am. Fuck you, stop wasting my time on shit that I not only don't need to know for this class but that I already know anyways. Plus, I'm about 90% positive that when you were showing everyone in the class how to solve for a discharging capacitance you told us that we wouldn't need to know how the formula was derived and you would give it to us on the formula sheet because we're not supposed to know how to do that stuff yet.
4. Formula Sheets: I can understand the reasoning behind why, unlike every other physics prof I've had, you don't let us make our own formula sheets. It's not unreasonable that some people would use that as a chance to cheat so I've got nothing against your policy for that. However, it would be nice if you maybe gave us all the formulas we're going to need as opposed to giving us maybe just over half of the formulas we need.
5. Can you please tell the jackass who asks retarded questions about the LHC every frickin' class to shut the fuck up? Cause it's not funny, it's a waste of my fucking time so stop humouring the dickhead and tell him to shut the fuck up. Next class, when he asks something stupid like "Could the black hole made by the LHC be the source of a magnetic field", instead of laughing you're stupid half laugh and going on about a bunch of stuff no one but you cares about just point at him. Point at him and look him right in the eye and tell him to shut the fuck up. You tell him "Shut the fuck up!".
Thus far you have been such a terrible prof that I have half a mind to study Physics when I'm done with Math just for the sole purpose of dedicating the rest of my life to proving every single one of your research papers wrong. But I won't because Math is better than Physics. You're just jealous because you weren't good enough for Math so she dumped your ass and it just so happened that Physics was there to comfort you. She tried her hardest to be just like Math but it wasn't the same. The things she said were basically the same but the way she said them was so different, so offputing. You were lonely and Physics was the only one there for you, Math had long moved on to bigger and better things than you. So you did what almost any person did and started eloping with Physics. After a while you were even able to look past Physics' horrible deformities but it still never felt quite right and by now you didn't have the heart to tell her so you stayed. You stayed and got old with Physics, slowly realizing what a horrible mistake your entire life has been, how you should have tried something, anything to stay with Math.
Well guess what Physics Prof? I'M TOTALLY BANGING MATH AND SHE SAYS SHE NEVER LIKED YOU. Go suck on that, bitch.
1. Office Hours: Get some. Just don't tell people that they can come by whenever and if you're there you're there and if you're not you're not. Fuck you. Do you have any idea how inconvenient that is? What makes you so goddamned special that you can be the only Prof on campus that doesn't have any office hours? Not to mention the fact that you never are there anyways. I've gone down about ten times and you've been there twice.
2. Lectures: Try talking about the subject that you're teaching. I understand that it's important to know how equations are derived but that's what math classes are for. This is a first year physics class. Me and maybe three other people are the only ones who know enough math to actually understand what the fuck you're doing when you derive formulas and that doesn't help us at all because HOLY SHIT, none of the questions we have to do deal with deriving formulas because this is PHYSICS not MATH. Maybe you should try doing more example problems with those formulas rather than deriving them for us and then looking smug when we have no fucking idea what to do with them.
3. Don't put a linear first order ODE on your midterm. Differential equations is a second year math course. Physics 102 is a first year course. Ergo: NO ONE KNOWS OR SHOULD KNOW HOW TO SOLVE A LINEAR ODE I don't care that you need to solve one to find the formula for the rate of discharge of a capacitor. Just give us the formula and we'll take your word for it that it works. Solving ODE's is once again math, not physics. If I wanted to solve ODE's I'd be taking a differential equations class. Oh wait, I am. Fuck you, stop wasting my time on shit that I not only don't need to know for this class but that I already know anyways. Plus, I'm about 90% positive that when you were showing everyone in the class how to solve for a discharging capacitance you told us that we wouldn't need to know how the formula was derived and you would give it to us on the formula sheet because we're not supposed to know how to do that stuff yet.
4. Formula Sheets: I can understand the reasoning behind why, unlike every other physics prof I've had, you don't let us make our own formula sheets. It's not unreasonable that some people would use that as a chance to cheat so I've got nothing against your policy for that. However, it would be nice if you maybe gave us all the formulas we're going to need as opposed to giving us maybe just over half of the formulas we need.
5. Can you please tell the jackass who asks retarded questions about the LHC every frickin' class to shut the fuck up? Cause it's not funny, it's a waste of my fucking time so stop humouring the dickhead and tell him to shut the fuck up. Next class, when he asks something stupid like "Could the black hole made by the LHC be the source of a magnetic field", instead of laughing you're stupid half laugh and going on about a bunch of stuff no one but you cares about just point at him. Point at him and look him right in the eye and tell him to shut the fuck up. You tell him "Shut the fuck up!".
Thus far you have been such a terrible prof that I have half a mind to study Physics when I'm done with Math just for the sole purpose of dedicating the rest of my life to proving every single one of your research papers wrong. But I won't because Math is better than Physics. You're just jealous because you weren't good enough for Math so she dumped your ass and it just so happened that Physics was there to comfort you. She tried her hardest to be just like Math but it wasn't the same. The things she said were basically the same but the way she said them was so different, so offputing. You were lonely and Physics was the only one there for you, Math had long moved on to bigger and better things than you. So you did what almost any person did and started eloping with Physics. After a while you were even able to look past Physics' horrible deformities but it still never felt quite right and by now you didn't have the heart to tell her so you stayed. You stayed and got old with Physics, slowly realizing what a horrible mistake your entire life has been, how you should have tried something, anything to stay with Math.
Well guess what Physics Prof? I'M TOTALLY BANGING MATH AND SHE SAYS SHE NEVER LIKED YOU. Go suck on that, bitch.
Friday, March 13, 2009
I need to sleep
But it's 1:40 am and I'm just going to be lying wide awake for at least another hour if I try. That's the way it's been for the last few nights anyhow. I've never gotten enough sleep but that's not really an issue for me, I'm used to it. The fact that I can't sleep when I try to is worrysome. I'm not even slipping into that half hazy little not-reality world that comes before sleep. That place where I remember things that might not even have happened. Has that ever happened to you? Remembering things that never actually happened? My thoughts are too sporadic and jumpy - definitely not a continuous function. Sometimes I can't keep up with them and everything gets all blurry and I don't understand anymore. That's what trying to sleep has been like lately. Blurry. It seems like I'm asleep but really I'm just pretending and there's no real sleeping going on but I don't know how to fix it.
Maybe I'm only imagining that I'm pretending to sleep and I'm actually asleep the whole time. Those are the kind of thoughts that I could lose sleep over. Frick. Maybe I could train myself not to sleep, that would solve so many of my problems.
I can't seem to be at ease lately - though I've never been at ease now that I think about it. It'd be nice if our minds had an off switch wouldn't it? Sometimes I think about how I have to spend my entire life listening to myself constantly going on and on and on about stuff like this inside of my head and it makes me wanna go crazy.
I don't think people should call me genius - even if they think it's true. I'm absolutely positive that they're wrong. They just don't know me as good as I do is the problem. Largely, I'm just a pretentious smartass who pretends to know everything. I think I do a pretty good job of pulling it off but that doesn't make me genius - it makes me a pretentious smartass who pretends to know everything and does a pretty good job pulling it off.
Wikipedia says that anxiety causes sleep disorders. I don't think I'm anxietous. Paranoid, confused, overwhelmed, yes but anxietous, no. Being overwhelmed has always worked well for me anyways. I can't get anything done unless there's some sort of chaos pushing on me from every side.
"People with symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder tend to always expect disaster and can't stop worrying about health, money, family, work or school."
Okay so I definitly don't have anxiety - like I thought. Health, money, family, work and school are the things I worry about the least (read: never). All that general life stuff doesn't bother me one bit. And I don't expect disastor, I just wait patiently for it. What do I worry about actually?
Lately I've been saying the things that I normally leave in my head, the things I don't say until I'm in my sleepy not-reality. It's going well I think. There was one time where it got maybe slightly awkward I think maybe but I'm not sure. Maybe that's why things are mixed up right now? Maybe I just invent things like this to keep my mind occupied with itself lest it become bored and realize what a waste of time everything is?
I think the nighttime is trying to kill me but I still like it better than anything else. I never have thoughts like these during the day. I used to hate the nighttime for it but then I realized that this was just its weird little way of trying to be friends. Kindave like an inside joke.
Well, now that I sound certifiably crazy I'm gonna go and try to sleep. You can come cuddle if you want. G'night.
Maybe I'm only imagining that I'm pretending to sleep and I'm actually asleep the whole time. Those are the kind of thoughts that I could lose sleep over. Frick. Maybe I could train myself not to sleep, that would solve so many of my problems.
I can't seem to be at ease lately - though I've never been at ease now that I think about it. It'd be nice if our minds had an off switch wouldn't it? Sometimes I think about how I have to spend my entire life listening to myself constantly going on and on and on about stuff like this inside of my head and it makes me wanna go crazy.
I don't think people should call me genius - even if they think it's true. I'm absolutely positive that they're wrong. They just don't know me as good as I do is the problem. Largely, I'm just a pretentious smartass who pretends to know everything. I think I do a pretty good job of pulling it off but that doesn't make me genius - it makes me a pretentious smartass who pretends to know everything and does a pretty good job pulling it off.
Wikipedia says that anxiety causes sleep disorders. I don't think I'm anxietous. Paranoid, confused, overwhelmed, yes but anxietous, no. Being overwhelmed has always worked well for me anyways. I can't get anything done unless there's some sort of chaos pushing on me from every side.
"People with symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder tend to always expect disaster and can't stop worrying about health, money, family, work or school."
Okay so I definitly don't have anxiety - like I thought. Health, money, family, work and school are the things I worry about the least (read: never). All that general life stuff doesn't bother me one bit. And I don't expect disastor, I just wait patiently for it. What do I worry about actually?
Lately I've been saying the things that I normally leave in my head, the things I don't say until I'm in my sleepy not-reality. It's going well I think. There was one time where it got maybe slightly awkward I think maybe but I'm not sure. Maybe that's why things are mixed up right now? Maybe I just invent things like this to keep my mind occupied with itself lest it become bored and realize what a waste of time everything is?
I think the nighttime is trying to kill me but I still like it better than anything else. I never have thoughts like these during the day. I used to hate the nighttime for it but then I realized that this was just its weird little way of trying to be friends. Kindave like an inside joke.
Well, now that I sound certifiably crazy I'm gonna go and try to sleep. You can come cuddle if you want. G'night.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Time
It's interesting how time works don't ya think? I certainly do. I find it enthralling how people are always constantly changing but they still manage to be themselves and not someone new. How many things would have to change for someone to be considered new anyhow? I know I've changed, many times. I wonder if anyone's noticed? I certainly have. If I could go back in time, even just a couple of months, I would probably punch myself. Of course, that means that future me probably wants to punch me right now too.
Maybe future me shouldn't be so goddamned frickin' violent? Huh did that ever occur to me?! It might have, of course, it also might be questions like those that make me wanna punch me.
I think that's probably the number one reason why time travel doesn't exist. It isn't the Grandfather Paradox or the problem of multiple timelines or even that time travel would have to include space travel. No, the reason that time travel hasn't been invented is because people would just go around punching themselves - that and they would screw with archaeologists. Well, I would screw with archaeologists... I'm pretty sure no one else would find it as staggeringly hilarious to go back in time 35,000 years and draw Pythagorean's Theorem in Chauvet Cave as I would. Yes, I've been reading up on my archaeology lately, thank you very much.
After re-reading my first paragraph, I've realized that I started almost every sentance with 'I'. That's a giant pet peeve for me. I kindave want to punch myself for it. You see how that works now? I guess that what I'm really trying to say is that I probably spend too much time thinking about the past. Things were different then, I was different, you were probably different too so there isn't much point really because everything is from a different perspective.
Sometimes I wonder what I used to think about all the time. I honestly can't remember. Though, to be fair, sometimes I wonder what I think about now. Pointless stuff like this I imagine mostly. This and the Invertible Matrix Theorem and not much else. Maybe that's what's so nice about the past, memories blur and imagination fills in the blanks without us even realizing it so everything seems so clear and understandable. Not like the dirty muddy present. I like dirty though so y'think I'd be able dig it. Most of the time I can - I guess. There's just certain things that should be different, seemed like they would be different by now but they aren't and I can't help but wonder why not. My mind has a habit of wandering off without me realizing it - I really ought to get a leash for the damned thing.
In conclusion, travelling back in time just to punch yourself in the face for being such a youthful ignorant twat probably isn't good for your self esteem so please don't do it, okay?
Maybe future me shouldn't be so goddamned frickin' violent? Huh did that ever occur to me?! It might have, of course, it also might be questions like those that make me wanna punch me.
I think that's probably the number one reason why time travel doesn't exist. It isn't the Grandfather Paradox or the problem of multiple timelines or even that time travel would have to include space travel. No, the reason that time travel hasn't been invented is because people would just go around punching themselves - that and they would screw with archaeologists. Well, I would screw with archaeologists... I'm pretty sure no one else would find it as staggeringly hilarious to go back in time 35,000 years and draw Pythagorean's Theorem in Chauvet Cave as I would. Yes, I've been reading up on my archaeology lately, thank you very much.
After re-reading my first paragraph, I've realized that I started almost every sentance with 'I'. That's a giant pet peeve for me. I kindave want to punch myself for it. You see how that works now? I guess that what I'm really trying to say is that I probably spend too much time thinking about the past. Things were different then, I was different, you were probably different too so there isn't much point really because everything is from a different perspective.
Sometimes I wonder what I used to think about all the time. I honestly can't remember. Though, to be fair, sometimes I wonder what I think about now. Pointless stuff like this I imagine mostly. This and the Invertible Matrix Theorem and not much else. Maybe that's what's so nice about the past, memories blur and imagination fills in the blanks without us even realizing it so everything seems so clear and understandable. Not like the dirty muddy present. I like dirty though so y'think I'd be able dig it. Most of the time I can - I guess. There's just certain things that should be different, seemed like they would be different by now but they aren't and I can't help but wonder why not. My mind has a habit of wandering off without me realizing it - I really ought to get a leash for the damned thing.
In conclusion, travelling back in time just to punch yourself in the face for being such a youthful ignorant twat probably isn't good for your self esteem so please don't do it, okay?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Last Friday
So last Friday, I was hanging out with people like I do every Friday because, lets face it, campus life is pretty frickin' sweet. Anyways, I was in someone else's room diggin' life with the regulars and a whole bunch of strange people came in the room - a whole bunch as in the room was now packed. Now, contrary to popular belief, I actually do like people. If I didn't like people I wouldn't have met the regulars at various similiar "packed room" parties. However, I think I unconsciously send very offputting signals to people because people very rarely approach me. So there I was, in a room packed full of people - completely alone. I'm just damn talented like that. It's also prudent to mention that I had had more than a couple drinks by this point (Que lastima!). So then I did what any normal person would do at a bumpin' party (Is bumpin' a good adjective now?), I sat upside down on the couch and wrote in my little notebook. One person asked me what I was writing and I told him "magic"... okay, so maybe some of the offputing signals aren't subconscious. Anyways, I wrote this... thingy - I don't even know what to call it, or what to think about it. It's just everything that went through my head for about ten minutes and I'm not sure if I like it or if I hate it and want to set fire to it and forget about it forever... Which is only a little disturbing cause what if I hate the stuff I think about? Anyways, here goes
Dancing circles the generations of mine talk and walk the night away and I'll watch as they flood in overloaded.
Why do you all have to talk so loud?
Why can't you let the girls have centerstage?
I'm too incapacitated to be bothered but you're all still around me.
Where did they come to?
I want to talk to all the queers and freaks and geeks of this generation
What makes us us?
Will it ever end?
When the night closes, who will remember it?
Where goest thy penetrating libido in the teenaged night under the sun?
Why am I here?
I don't belong but there's an invite in my back pocket - purely for the experience
None of them can talk and I can't understand it so I'll take another swig and drop into their world while they dig each other and I'll dig them; carefree and lost sucked into each other's worlds that'll be forever on my outscape.
This poem is shit
I still like it
My ears are dead like a beaten horse and static radio deadness infiltrates my mind while the pretty people walk past.
Why can't I be one of them?
I'm too me
All the madness is around me and I'm sane
That makes me insane
A bead of drunken ecstasy flies through the air and lands on my face giving out a feeling -
A true feeling
I hate them all and love it all the same
Kacie comes and tells me to get up but I can't - too lost
Can't find where I fit but everything is good and wild and screw the world cause here is the future stumbling in your living room and corrupting your children.
Dear God: Why aren't I apart of it
Sometimes I cry at night because nobody gets it
Sometimes they dance at night because they do
The weird part about this is that I really really enjoyed Friday... like alot. I dunno, I'm strange I guess.
Dancing circles the generations of mine talk and walk the night away and I'll watch as they flood in overloaded.
Why do you all have to talk so loud?
Why can't you let the girls have centerstage?
I'm too incapacitated to be bothered but you're all still around me.
Where did they come to?
I want to talk to all the queers and freaks and geeks of this generation
What makes us us?
Will it ever end?
When the night closes, who will remember it?
Where goest thy penetrating libido in the teenaged night under the sun?
Why am I here?
I don't belong but there's an invite in my back pocket - purely for the experience
None of them can talk and I can't understand it so I'll take another swig and drop into their world while they dig each other and I'll dig them; carefree and lost sucked into each other's worlds that'll be forever on my outscape.
This poem is shit
I still like it
My ears are dead like a beaten horse and static radio deadness infiltrates my mind while the pretty people walk past.
Why can't I be one of them?
I'm too me
All the madness is around me and I'm sane
That makes me insane
A bead of drunken ecstasy flies through the air and lands on my face giving out a feeling -
A true feeling
I hate them all and love it all the same
Kacie comes and tells me to get up but I can't - too lost
Can't find where I fit but everything is good and wild and screw the world cause here is the future stumbling in your living room and corrupting your children.
Dear God: Why aren't I apart of it
Sometimes I cry at night because nobody gets it
Sometimes they dance at night because they do
The weird part about this is that I really really enjoyed Friday... like alot. I dunno, I'm strange I guess.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Ablargh
You know that feeling where you're completely apathetic towards everything that you're supposed to be doing and are just too damn lazy to give a shit about life? Well I have it - for about the last week and a half actually and right now I kindave wanna go to sleep until May 2022 because that seems like it'll be a good month and if it isn't I'll just go back to sleep. Hey, by that point, who would miss me?. See, the worst part about all of this is it just keeps getting worse and worse as the amount of work that I shouldave started on already gets bigger and bigger.
Laziness as a function of work that needs to get done, it seems, is an exponential function. It'll be a miracle if that last sentence isn't the only math I do today. More importantly, screw you simple harmonic motion. I take that back actually, SHM is pretty okay, my problem lies with second order differential equations and the fact that I have to do SO FRICKIN MANY OF THEM by Friday.
Yes, "so frickin' many" is numerically equal to 4 when we're talking about math questions. If anybody ever says "There's only four left, you're practically done" I will punch them in the face with a sledgehammer.
I'll eventually snap out of this and get everything all done miraculously on time yet again but that'll mean probably not sleeping on Wednesday or Thursday and that thought makes me want to go to bed.
Good night.
Laziness as a function of work that needs to get done, it seems, is an exponential function. It'll be a miracle if that last sentence isn't the only math I do today. More importantly, screw you simple harmonic motion. I take that back actually, SHM is pretty okay, my problem lies with second order differential equations and the fact that I have to do SO FRICKIN MANY OF THEM by Friday.
Yes, "so frickin' many" is numerically equal to 4 when we're talking about math questions. If anybody ever says "There's only four left, you're practically done" I will punch them in the face with a sledgehammer.
I'll eventually snap out of this and get everything all done miraculously on time yet again but that'll mean probably not sleeping on Wednesday or Thursday and that thought makes me want to go to bed.
Good night.
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