WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HERO
"Ahh, Mr. Grouse, it's so very unfortunate that things must end this way, however my employer is very adamant about getting you out of the way"
"And who egxshaclty ish your employer", questioned Grouse while struggling with the straps that held him to the conveyor belt.
"No no no Mr. Grouse, what do you think this is: A Bond film? No, I'll not be telling you any of our plans even though there's absolutely no chance for your escape. You never can be too careful, that is the motto of our evil underground organization and I stand by it."
"You'll never get away wi' thish Bandicoot"
"But I already have. Good day Mr. Grouse"
Bandicoot flipped the switch to the conveyor belt and then left the room. At the end of the conveyor large blades began to whir, slicing easily through pieces of lumber. The belt drew Grouse nearer and nearer till the roaring of the saws was deafening and a harsh gust cut through his feathers. Manoeuvring his wing, Grouse managed to press a button on his watch down against the side of the belt that confined him to his doom. Out of the watch shot a laser, red hot and cutting through his bonds. The blades were mere inches away now; feathers from the top of Grouse's head were getting knicked. Time itself seemed to slow down and the last precious seconds Grouse had until becoming mince passed with the yawning clarity of hours. At last, the strap broke and Grouse rolled off the conveyor belt.
" That'sh what I call cutting it closhe"
Grouse had to act quick. After a quick inspection of the steel door Grouse realized that he'd need to find another way out of this room if he wanted to escape. Ten feet above him wound the main ventilation shaft of the complex. Using his shoe to jam the saws, Grouse caused the machine to overheat and explode, sending one of the blades flying through the air, slicing the ventilation shaft in half. The fire alarm rang; Grouse had to act quick. He began making his way through the shaft, winding through the industrial complex. After crawling for about thirty feet, Grouse saw Bandicoot through a vent; standing in an office that had modestly been furnished by Ikea - but in a way that would make any interior designer cringe - and cowering in the presence of someone that Grouse could only make out as a shadowy figure sitting in a chair. Bandicoot stuttered fearfully, completely having lost that smug mocking superior English manner of speaking as he had while taunting Grouse,
"I-I searched the room sir... It seems that G-Grouse..."
"Growse vat?!" was the thick Russian reply from the shadowy figure in the chair
"He's not in the room. I t-think - I think he may have escaped"
" Escapt! You let Famous Grouse escape! He may be de only vun who could stop me."
The shadowy figure whirled round and leapt across the office desk, faster than Grouse could pick out any distinguishing characteristics, and tackled Bandicoot to the floor.
"AARGH MY EYE!
"Next time I take your whoole hed. Find Grouse before he gets away for good!".
On that cue, Grouse decided that he'd best not stick around and continued crawling down the ventilation shaft. The shaft ended at the outer wall of the building, ten feet in the air, and faced a snowy airfield. Directly beneath the shaft, guarding the airfield were two armed squirrels. As well as having arms they also carried guns and adorable little squirrel militia helmets. This made them OH SO CUTE!- but also deadly as fuck.
"Ahh, Mr. Grouse, it's so very unfortunate that things must end this way, however my employer is very adamant about getting you out of the way"
"And who egxshaclty ish your employer", questioned Grouse while struggling with the straps that held him to the conveyor belt.
"No no no Mr. Grouse, what do you think this is: A Bond film? No, I'll not be telling you any of our plans even though there's absolutely no chance for your escape. You never can be too careful, that is the motto of our evil underground organization and I stand by it."
"You'll never get away wi' thish Bandicoot"
"But I already have. Good day Mr. Grouse"
Bandicoot flipped the switch to the conveyor belt and then left the room. At the end of the conveyor large blades began to whir, slicing easily through pieces of lumber. The belt drew Grouse nearer and nearer till the roaring of the saws was deafening and a harsh gust cut through his feathers. Manoeuvring his wing, Grouse managed to press a button on his watch down against the side of the belt that confined him to his doom. Out of the watch shot a laser, red hot and cutting through his bonds. The blades were mere inches away now; feathers from the top of Grouse's head were getting knicked. Time itself seemed to slow down and the last precious seconds Grouse had until becoming mince passed with the yawning clarity of hours. At last, the strap broke and Grouse rolled off the conveyor belt.
" That'sh what I call cutting it closhe"
Grouse had to act quick. After a quick inspection of the steel door Grouse realized that he'd need to find another way out of this room if he wanted to escape. Ten feet above him wound the main ventilation shaft of the complex. Using his shoe to jam the saws, Grouse caused the machine to overheat and explode, sending one of the blades flying through the air, slicing the ventilation shaft in half. The fire alarm rang; Grouse had to act quick. He began making his way through the shaft, winding through the industrial complex. After crawling for about thirty feet, Grouse saw Bandicoot through a vent; standing in an office that had modestly been furnished by Ikea - but in a way that would make any interior designer cringe - and cowering in the presence of someone that Grouse could only make out as a shadowy figure sitting in a chair. Bandicoot stuttered fearfully, completely having lost that smug mocking superior English manner of speaking as he had while taunting Grouse,
"I-I searched the room sir... It seems that G-Grouse..."
"Growse vat?!" was the thick Russian reply from the shadowy figure in the chair
"He's not in the room. I t-think - I think he may have escaped"
" Escapt! You let Famous Grouse escape! He may be de only vun who could stop me."
The shadowy figure whirled round and leapt across the office desk, faster than Grouse could pick out any distinguishing characteristics, and tackled Bandicoot to the floor.
"AARGH MY EYE!
"Next time I take your whoole hed. Find Grouse before he gets away for good!".
On that cue, Grouse decided that he'd best not stick around and continued crawling down the ventilation shaft. The shaft ended at the outer wall of the building, ten feet in the air, and faced a snowy airfield. Directly beneath the shaft, guarding the airfield were two armed squirrels. As well as having arms they also carried guns and adorable little squirrel militia helmets. This made them OH SO CUTE!- but also deadly as fuck.
He wants his fucking peanuts and he wants them now.
Grouse carefully and silently removed the cover to the vent shaft. He threw the cover at one of the squirrels while simultaneously jumping down on top of the other. Both squirrels were knocked unconscious by an overdose of badass.
"Jusht thought I'd drop by", quipped Grouse - unknowingly causing heart failure in the squirrels whilst doing so.
Unfortunately, the Control Tower saw all of this and sounded the alarm. Within seconds squirrels came dashing out onto the airfield and opened fire on Grouse as he sprinted for the nearest plane. Bullets cut through the sky all around Grouse but they were all too scared to actually hit him; instead they whizzed past inches away from him, mentally preparing the story for their friends back home even though, inevitably, their friends would never believe them.
"Oh yeah, sure sure. I bet you did nearly kill Grouse. Went just inches past him uh-huh".
Making it through the impossibly large barrage of bullets, Grouse hopped into a single engine biplane that was preparing to take off but not before throwing the pilot out of the door.
"Niysh landing!" Grouse yelled from the cockpit as he flew off across the mountains and toward England
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