Thursday, August 6, 2009

Various thoughts and happenings

- I'm debating whether or not to apply to be a blogger for Go Global. On one hand it'd be cool but on the other hand I'd have to write 'acceptable' material about what I'm doing twice a month. Also, I'd have to write the 250 word sample topic on either: a) applying for Go Global (presumably my version of that would be obscenity laced). or b) some trip you went on sometime. I think I probably will apply

- I almost got hit by a car today. Some guy decided at the stop sign that " Oh hey a stop sign, I think I'll not look both ways before proceeding because I need to turn right. That means that traffic will only be coming from the left so I can focus all my attention on the le - OH SHIT A KID ON A BIKE!". Needless to say, I was on the right and I was watching him not paying any attention to me right up until I skidded to a stop almost in front of him as he cut me off. Anyways, no harm was done except for that I BROKE MY FUCKING BRAKE LINE. So yeah... next time he pulls that shit, I'm just gonna fly right into the front of his nice shiny SUV cause my breaking power is now significantly reduced. Actually, in hindsight, I shouldave ran into him. I had the right of way so no legal issues and at the speed I was going I wouldn't have been hurt at all. His SUV however, would be nice and dented.

- It turns out that I'm pretty good at writing all scientificy.

- I just watched Tony Jaa fight a frickin' crocodile. Sadly though, the movie itself looks like a shit sandwich. Too much 'Hollywood magic' not enough 'Hey guys, let's videotape Tony Jaa being fucking awesome while he's not watching'. The realism was what sold me on the last one. This one seems more like "Is it him, or is he cheating like everyone else in the movies?".

- This article makes me angry. Not the article itself but the people in the comments section who go "THIS IS A STUPID WASTE OF MONEY. A FIVE YEAR OLD COULD TELL YOU THAT A CELL PHONE DISTRACTS YOU FROM DRIVING. THIS WAS A WASTE OF TIME. SCIENTISTS ARE IDIOTS". Dear people who think this, please smack your head into a wall repeatedly until your brain looks like San Fransico circa 1906 because you clearly don't understand how the concept of freedom works and I can't have you being functional enough to speak anymore. Obviously it's a distraction, I agree with you there. Y'know what else is a distraction? The radio. Also: having a passenger, drinking coffee, adjusting the AC, rolling down windows, pretty much everything you do inside a vehicle is a fucking distraction. This is why it's important to find out how much of a distraction something is before you outright ban it. If the government banned the use of cellphones in cars without having some significant evidence (AKA several scientific studies with similiar claims) of how dangerous it is, they could just as well ban the radio on the same grounds.

- Seriosuly MTV? Please just admit that you now longer have any musical relevence. How the hell can Lady Gaga/Britney Spears/Kayne West/Eminem be your forerunners when an unbelievably fantastic album was put out by The Decemberists this year. Last I checked, Kayne's last album was an autotuned piece of shit, even by the standards of people who like Kayne. Britney was musically irrelavent about a decade ago and has been riding her star power ever since (also: penis, lots of penis), Lady Gaga is pretty much just Madonna and Marilyn Mansons love child - except all she does is make really terrible double entendres overtop of a computer loop and calls it music. Eminem is continuesly sliding ever further into the "HOLY FUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY EARS" half of the line he used to ride so carefully between "HOLY FUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY EARS" and "Hey, from a poetical point of veiw this is actually pretty okay. Not as music, but as a poem, I could dig this I guess". The worst part is that they have Russell Brand hosting so I actually want to watch it, even though it'll just be two hours of me going "Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me". Actually... I take everything back, Russell Brand should get all the awards. And REM too cause they just released a song today.

- BC is getting shafted once again by their government. I'm glad I won't be living here shortly.

- I saw my ex-roomate a couple of days ago which means that he hasn't been deported like I suspected. His internet is no longer showing up when I search for networks so I got hopeful. Though I suppose this means he can't afford internet which I think is pretty funny.

- I think Reservoir Dogs and The Usual Suspects have the best movie endings ever and I watched them both last weekend for the first time and my brain is still going crazy trying to wrap itself around them

- I am incredibly curious as to what would have happened during the police riots at the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago if instead of all the hippies saying,

"Um, so there's like 10,000 of us and we're gonna hang out in this park over here to protest the war in Vietnam. Also, if it's cool with you, we'd like to walk down and stand outside the convention on the last day to protest it. If it's possible we'd like to sleep at the park too but if not I guess we'll just sleep wherever in your city. We're all non-violent and none of us wanna start fights or anything so I think having 23,000 police/National Guardsmen is a bit overkill. Peace and love to all"

They had said,

"So, there's like 10,000 of us and we'd like to have a peaceful protest in your park. Also we'd like to march down to where the convention is being held on the last day to protest us. This whole event is non-violent so I think it's a bit silly bringing in 23,000 police/National Guardsmen. Oh also, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US BROUGHT A GUN. So, y'know, we can both be cool about everything and not have any violence but if you fuck with us please realize that we'll turn your fucking city into a warzone. Peace and love to all".

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Let's go for a nice walk

Today's overly long nap was brought to you by dehydration and a desire to not use one's lower appendages.

I always underestimate distances. This is one of the reasons me and cities don't get along. Cities make you feel as though everything is right near to you and that only exacerbates my distance issues. In small towns, I fully realize that the next town over is THE NEXT FUCKING TOWN OVER! In cities however, I fail to pick up on the fact that "just down the road", easily equates to "THE NEXT FUCKING TOWN OVER".

Another problem I have is that when the weather outside is nice and sunny and hot, I absolutely hate driving. I just cannot bring myself to sit inside a stuffy (read: Holy shit it is flesh bubblingly hot in here! Seriously, most days I nearly burn myself just trying to turn the ignition.) vehicle when I could be enjoying the outdoors.

So, today I had to go get a backpack. The store was a far enough distance away that any sane person (read: not retarded) would not have even considered walking. I on the other hand, am retarded. I actually did consider the distance in my head, decided that yes it probably was too far and that, yes I probably would regret it once I got there. But I decided to walk anyways, it'd been a while since I'd had a nice decent walk and dammit, I wanted that nice decent walk so I could have some walky thoughts which are usually always fairly interesting and insightful. In hindsight, the actual walk wouldn't have been bad, I just looked up the distance and it's 4.6 km there so I walked a total of 9.2 km. That's okay, but I made two more very poor decisions.

1. It was the middle of the friggin' day AKA 38 degrees Celsius
2. I wore sandals.

The walk there was okay, my feet hadn't even started hurting and the store was nice and cool. It was the walk back that I did not enjoy. Now, the reason I mentioned wearing sandals as being a mistake is because I have ankle pronation. You know how one of the first things people learn how to do is walk? Yeah well I fucked that one up pretty hard and now put too much weight on the inside of my foot (Congenital Defect! Send this one back to the factory). I don't have it very bad (for now) so things are usually pretty okay s'long as I'm wearing shoes with decent support which is exactly the sort of support that sandals don't have.

Anyways, the walk back frickin' sucked. Almost immediately my feet started getting sore but, I'm used to that and can usually ignore it so that doesn't bother me at all. After I'd gotten about halfway back, my hip started getting sore - not consistently sore but just sore every now and then, like if I stepped wrong. This was new and completely expected. Pronated ankles eventually tend to screw up pretty much every body part from the waist down: hips, knees, shins, heels, lower back, tendons, muscles, ANKLES! I'll be surprised if my body doesn't completely fail me by the time I'm 30. Speaking of surprised, my knees didn't start hurting at all so that's a plus I guess.

One more thing: I failed to take into account that I'd have to be carrying the backpack back with me (I didn't wanna wear it because I didn't feel like having the back of my t-shirt drenched in sweat). It was only 3.5 kg but after about a half hour of carrying it this got to be really frickin' annoying.

Oh, and did I mention that it was fucking hot out.

And now: Something that makes me happy.

How professor's will say that they really liked something you did and then hand it back to you COVERED IN SEMI-LEGIBLE RED INK. I think this is hilarious and it makes me smile thinking about how ridiculous it is. In my mind I picture Prof's going through books that they like, marking up page after page and then sending it back to the author with a "I really enjoyed this, thank you but HERE ARE SOME GLARING ERRORS THAT NEED ADDRESSING. Also: if you could sign my copy before sending it back that would be cool". The worst part is how when the Prof gets the book back, they don't accept it because the signature is illegible. Anyways, the draft I'm working on right now probably has just as much red ink on it as black but, apparently it's really good so yay!