Saturday, April 11, 2009

My dreams need a psychiatrist I think probably

I was gonna make a post about how bad music sucks now but that's far too sad. So instead I'M GONNA FREAK OUT CAUSE STUDYING IS SUCH A GIANT DRAG AND DOES WEIRD THINGS TO YOUR BRAIN.

Seriously, it's deadly stuff, I don't recommend it EVER. Last week, I had a nightmare about math. No joke. This math paper that should have only taken a couple hours took like 8 (still not done actually - I have till Monday). So I fell asleep and there were numbers and x's and autonomous equations frickin' everywhere crowding up my brainspace and they were all moaning "solve us" and I was like "Dudes, leave me alone, I wanna sleep" but they wouldn't shut up so I solved a couple and tried to go to sleep and then they started fuckin' biting people and after people got bit they turned into math. "Are you fuckin' kidding me?" I yell out to a landscape plastered with all sorts of scary looking numberish mathy things feasting on the bloodied bodies of dream-people. No, I wasn't fucking kidding me. Turns out my dreams have zombie mathstuffs that need to be solved or they'll just eat ALL THE BRAINS. Brains which, as they were created by my brain, are actually part of my brain. Frickin' math was eating my own brains inside out. It's okay though, cause I grabbed a shotgun. TAKE THAT AUTONOMOUS EQUATIONS! tsch tsch BOOM tsch tsch BOOM! MUAHAHAHAHA! Bastards!

Right now I'm stuck on Physics and Anthropology and I hate them both. Frickin' studying, frickin' exams. I hate all this waiting. I wish I could have all of my exams sometime over the course of the next four days. My brain goes crazy when I have to go over and over and over the same thing forever. Y'know, just in case that math dream wasn't enough of a tip-off.

Actually, I'm a little bit excited for when I have to start studying Matrix Algebra. How awesome are my dreams gonna be then. "NO! You can't disconnect him from the Matrix yet. He isn't in reduced echelon form. His entire body will shut down on him." "Ack, sorry! Maybe you can put me in the Matrix and I'll try some Guassian Elimination to help him out?""You crazy son of a bitch, there's no way you'll make it out alive". My dream ends with me trying to take the inverse matrix and then all of a sudden everyone's underwear is on the outside of their clothes so we pretend to be superheros but then we remember that WE ALREADY ARE SUPERHEROES so instead we just have chocolate cake and I drop a big gooey piece of icing on my underwear and everyone laughs and I'm like "Hey, guys c'mon, I'm the One, stop being so mean" and then they all rememer how much I rocked at solving the Matrix so they all shut the hell up.

Or what about when I have to start studying archaeology? Man, that'll be even frickin awesomer. Maybe I'll study Archaeology and Matrix Algebra at the same time so that way I'll be Indiana Jones except inside of the Matrix trying to stop computer Nazi robots from destroying all of humanity with the Antikythera Mechanism. I'll be all like "I can learn Kung Fu?" but then I'll think about it for a second and be like "Actually, I know it'll only take like 20 seconds to learn but fuck it" and then I'll just shoot the guy in the chest with a revolver instead of doing all those fancy bullettime things. If the bad guy uses that bullettime trick to dodge my bullets I'll just whip him around the throat because WHIPS GO FASTER THAN BULLETS BITCH and then I'll drag him over and shoot him in the face and say something witty like "HA I TOTALLY JUST SHOT YOU IN THE FACE BITCH WHAT NOW". Okay, that needs working on. I'll let you know how it actually goes in my dreamworld.

Man, I have the nerdiest dreams ever. But so badass!

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